Est. Since Sep 2004

2009-05-17T08:21:00.004+08:00

and i thought cooking rice was easy. plain and simple rice, no fancy stuff. using a pot instead of the rice cooker takes skill, the amount of water and the amount of heat. the first time i tried cooking rice in the states to make fried rice, it was too crunchy like half-boiled rice because i took it out too early. the second time i attempted to cook the seemingly eggsy fried rice, it turned out crunchy again. this time round, i took it out too late and overcooked. i seriously thought i got some talent in cooking lo.

lesson one: do not take the egg fried rice for granted.

a few nights ago, i was in the city buying a cup of papaya juice in the Papaya King (not durian meh?) i just had to try the papaya. its crying out loud to me. it was $2.25 but after student discount, it cost $1.80. i only had $1.70 that time and the cashier was kind enough to waive that off. mental me thought that was a bargain (ok that sounds a bit auntie but u feel happy if u have to pay less than initial right). when i got back to the bus, the driver told me that i could get it for FREE if i told them that i worked for hampton jitney.

and i was wearing my hampton jitney uniform.

lesson two: when you think you got the better end of a deal, it may not be.

2009-05-15T03:18:00.003+08:00

i was thinking that if i remb the password for this blog, i will continue to write. it turned out that my memory is not as bad as i thought. but thats because i only use a few regular passwords for all other accounts. this password is the first online password i ever had, the time when pacificnet dominated the internet in s'pore back when i was in lower sec. i still remembered that it had a dolphin logo.

well, i've digressed. now im back again, blogging. i had a love-and-hate relationship with this form of medium. i love it when i have funny/interesting things to blog about, i hate it when i lost the inspiration to write i.e. nothing seems to be happening in my life.

but i really need this, because i think i have signs of early dementia/alzhemier's disease. i dont remb things that i've said or done before. zilch impression. my friends had to remind me and it felt like i wasnt accountable to myself. as if the things i had done or said wasnt important to me thats why i didnt remember them. and i want to remember because those things i did were a part of me. i dont want to lose my memories to the unrelentless motion of time.

it is worse than death when you dont remember anyone or anything.

anyway, i've unofficially graduated from NTU Nanyang Business School. on the work and travel program at the state of New York, working as a coach attendent at hampton jitney. they take people to and fro from long island (which is where i stay, bridgehampton to be exact) to new york city. i think this is the best job i've ever done. the pay is good (US9/hr) and the hours are long. but most of the time im just sitting down and doing nothing! after serving beverages and snacks, i have to collect fares and trash. pretty easy eh. the job satisfaction comes from passengers who thank me for a good trip and attempted to converse with me. the best part of this job is to get to meet different people everyday, you never know what to expect.

will finish up the working stint on 30th june and then its time to tour the eastern coast of US. haven really decided the itineriy yet as we are busy with work and everyone has different off days. contemplated to fly over to the west (can meet up with peiling and wenyee who are working at yellowstone) but the domestic tickets are expensive. hope to meet up with them though, who knows i might get a big tip soon =)

today is mum's 50th birthday but yet me and my sis are not there to celebrate with her. i feel a little unfilial on my part as she had to spend her birthday alone, at work somemore. when i skyped with her just now, i think she was very happy to hear us say an advance happy birthday to her.

maybe that is what mattered the most. she dont need luxurious clothes/bags or lavish meals. all she needs is our simple wishes, that we remembered. i can relate to what she feels: the contentment when loved ones remembered something special about them. sometimes, its just that simple.

happy birthday, mum!
i wish for you abundance of good health
that you will never suffer injustice at work
that you will be happy, always
=)

2008-07-19T22:27:00.003+08:00

attachment ended yesterday. its amazing how 10 weeks just flew past. well even though i've been complaining about monday blues and how boring work is, its still with a bit of a heavy heart that im leaving SAESL. of cos its the people that i'll miss having lunch with. the past few weeks they seemed to be more jovial and open to me, maybe its because im leaving.

lynn treated 9 of us (im the only one leaving) to a din tai feng lunch on friday. we had about 50 xiao long baos in different flavors. the quite unique one is the yam xiao long bao. it is good if you like "orh ni".

i still remembered the last day of my secondary life. i think im the only one who hugged my form teacher. its a bit wierd to see that in a all boys' class but i did not think too much about that. it's just a simple hug. cant remember if i teared.

but i remembered clearly that i teared quite badly during jc graduation ceremony as the teachers put up a performance for us. they were singing some sad grad songs la and i kept thinking about the fact that we wont stay the same after that day and got me emo again. jane, joyce and joann, do you remember? haha

i didnt tear this time around but i felt emo when i was taking pics with my colleagues. we wont be seeing each other soon. they are friends made possible by circumstances. when the circumstances have come to pass, our friendships will be diluted by time and cease to exist in the end. this is an inevitable fact.

2008-06-23T23:06:00.008+08:00

See the pyramids along the Nile

Watch the sun rise

From the tropic isle

Just remember darling

All the while

You belong to me

See the market place

In old Algiers

Send me photographs and souvenirs

Just remember

When a dream appears

You belong to me

And I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean

In a silver plane

See the jungle

When it's wet with rain

Just remember till

You're home again

You belong to me

Oh I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too

Fly the ocean

In a silver plane

See the jungle

When it's wet with rain

Just remember till

You're home again

You belong to me

You Belong To Me - Lifehouse

2008-06-17T22:53:00.001+08:00

oh yeah!

its MIDWEEK of Week 6.

tata. off i go to bed =)

2008-06-09T22:33:00.002+08:00

proudly announcing my training regime for june/july 2008!

Monday & Wednesday - Swimming (At least 10 laps)
Sat - Running at Bedok Reservoir
Whenever im free - pushups X 40 + weights X 1oo reps
Whenever friends jio - tennis, badminton, cycling, blading, vball, mahjong

did 8 laps freestyle and 7 laps breaststroke i think. arms and legs were numb with pain. when i got up from the pool, i swear i was swaying to my left and right like im on drugs.

am thinking of joining canoeing for regular training. HELLOOOOOOO...any adventurous takers out there? if you got lobangs for canoeing training, please leave a msg.

*act like a lot of people read my blog. so you think you are peggy chang?*

lets see how long this regime will last.

2008-06-08T12:28:00.003+08:00

results was released a few days ago. my best thus far =)

1 A and 3 B+. the first time i hit above 4. been doubting myself if i will ever reach 4 since i have friends who hit 4.5 like nobody's business. well there's no end to it if i keep comparing with others so i decided to compete just against myself.

the challenge for next sem: maintain or exceed this sem's results!

i have to say the AMK crab stall was good! nice juicy pincers with to-die-for soup at a deadly price. but it amounted to ~$22/person for a group of 9? but poor YS had diarrhoea the next day. she thought it was the crabs but thinking back, maybe her fingers was not clean haha. and it was a great time meeting with the hall clique, with regina being the "joke" of the day. there's always someone who will 撑the场面 in every big clique.

thats why i prefer small cliques where everyone will 撑the场面together and it doesnt really matter if there's only 2 of us.

sigh, today is already sunday. tomorrow is a long week of work again. it is making me lose my motivation to blog. what's there to blog about during weekdays?

wake up at 715am. wait for 750am bus. walk 10 mins to work. do nothing much til lunch at 1230pm. wait for work to end at 6pm. reach home 645pm. watch a bit of tv and online til 11plus pm. sets alarm clock at 715am. dread to sleep and open eyes next day to realise the cycle repeats til friday.

=(

i hate office life.

2008-05-15T22:59:00.004+08:00

i cant fathom what the toot was Fantasia doing on stage in today's results show. all i saw on stage was a mad woman screaming out in a quacky voice. the scene flashed to simon's face. he was obviously in shock at what the ex-idol had become. i seriously think if that was the audition, he would have booted her out with a straight face: "that was absolutely horrendous."

syesha looked amazingly like rihanna with her rebonded hair. just a tad darker and with a tad less irritating voice.

looking forward to battle of the davids next weej. they should combine david a.'s boyish cute looks with david c.'s magnetic voice.

oh yeah! tomorrow is friday!! have a good weekend!!!

2008-05-14T21:30:00.003+08:00

new job scope: carpark warden.

was tasked to collect data for carpark management. seems like they are having some problems with too little space for too much cars. cant blame the number of cars driving to work since their workplace is far too ulu for their liking. the surprising thing was HR in the company is really "bao ka liao". even carparks space they also have to handle. talk about strategic hr planning in school.

every day, i have to walk through the 5 storeys of carparks at 3 different timings to get the number of cars/bikes and take note of illegal parkings plus take down their license plate. just short of giving summons to those people who parked anywhere out of convenience sake. yesterday, i even saw 1 car parked on a slope when there are plenty of lots around. wth?

then today, after keying in the data for carpark management, i had nothing to do. so i asked C if she has anything for me to work on. this is the first time i was so happy with filing. i like the part when i finished the stack, the hour had flown by.

had a discussion with ferry on the communication strategies we had brainstormed the day before. he was very impressed with the notion of canteen tables serving as an alternative and creative communication channel. my rationale was that people had to eat and no matter what, they will have to read what's on the table. only the critical information will be there to avoid the staff from regurgitating their food out.

maybe can put at the toilet area too cos this is the venue where regurgitation should occur.

so proud of my idea. give credit to ntu hall 13 canteen. kena inspired.

was fed like a pig with the leaving of a colleague from neighbouring CB department. it stands for customer business, not some crude and vulgar nouns. had munchkin donuts even though i dislike donut smell. dont know why, they smell like garbage to me. but people offered and im new, must show some respect. and we had a buffet catered by the chinese stall. and ended off with a birthday cake for 3 of the people in the office.

the birthday song was the softest i ever heard in my life! after much hestitation and prompting from the organiser, they started to hum and it just trailed and ended without any claps of celebration. the birthday people must be feeling strange and their birthday wishes might have been to make us forget this ever happened. took some pictures though it felt like posing for staff annual publications.

the most awkard birthday party i ever been to. well i would call it a ritual instead.

2008-05-12T23:38:00.002+08:00

first day of internship at SAESL. pronounced as say-zer.

had a short orientation with about 10 other people, 5 of us were student interns from different unis attached to different units. sat through a lengthy health safety and evironment briefing and i cant remember how many times i tried to yawn discretely. like purposely moving your jaw to disguise the fact it was boring.

i always imagined factory assembly areas to be dirty, warm and greasy. but say-ser was a different breed. with fully air-conditioned and clean facilities playing to the hits of 98.7 fm, you can say that the employees are having a better time than most of their counterparts in other companies.

and aero engines are really HUGE. imagine how your mashed up pool of blood and muscles and fats will look like if you sway sway kena sucked into the turbines.

met my direct supervisor, ferry. he's an indonesian chinese. maybe he was born on a ferry on the way from indonesia to singapore, thats why. and my counterpart from smu, D the bear. he is a person who looks the kind girls would siam because he is big size and always have a perpetual smile. but he is nice, i must stress.

met other fellow HR colleagues, C, who looks like an ah tiong but tranforms into high class ~~ah tiong~~ chinese model lookalike when she tied up her hair. KH the uncle with few words. he seems like the kind uncle who always get bullied on fri evenings when colleagues will push all remaining work to him, citing reasons like he dont have to go clubbing and anyway he wont have much to do during weekends. chris, the long hair butch lookalike when she had her manly jacket on but turn into a lady with her flowery dress. with such an androgynous name and a confusing fashion sense, i wont be surprised if she had a crush on C.

that sums up the introduction of my fellow hr colleagues. talk more about my working experience soon.

good night world.

2008-05-03T21:22:00.003+08:00

at long last, tasted my share of freedom when my paper ended. really the excruiating few days of the semester when all u see on msn are happy nicks proclaiming the days of "its over!" after exams. i guess for most of us in my course, we have studied til we cursed and sweared, wishing it be over soon.

and maybe that's how joreen felt during the last few days? i will never know. but if i were in her shoes, thats how i will probably feel.

in another few hours time, will be on my way to bangkok. kinda exciting and besides shopping all the way, hope to squeeze in 1 day to visit the beach. nearest one would be pattaya. with a lot of papayas. haha.

blog more when i come back on thurs morning, with a lot of photos =)

2008-04-30T01:42:00.004+08:00

"hi joreen,

do you remember me? i went to visit you in the hospital with my mum and esther =) you've just woken up at that time but were all smiles to receive your visitors. we dint talk much though. my mum talked about visiting you in ur home after u get better. before we left, you were really sweet and smiled and ask for my name. i said im alex and also wished you to get well soon.

the next time i saw u, u were sleeping peacefully with the same beautiful smile on the first day i met u. felt like i lost an elder sis too.

its been a privilege knowing you. see u soon =)"

the friendster comment i left for joreen. but it dint get through, subject to approval. decided that im going to send her 1 last time on thurs, to applaud her on her brave fight and my encouragement to her family.

why does it always have to sacrifice a life to realise the people and things that really matters? take a breather in this ratrace, think of the important people, be appreciative of what they've done and do something that will make their day.

2008-04-29T11:23:00.004+08:00

i remembered the time we went to visit her in the hospital, she was all smiley for us. even though it was the first time we ever laid eyes on each other. with all the tubes sticking out of her and her pale complexion, she really looked beautiful. with a child-like smile that will touch anyone's heart.

we wished her a speedy recovery. and even promised to visit her at home when she discharged. there was no doubt in my mind that she would get better. with the care and love from her family and friends, her own desire to live and her faith in God, i really thought she would be my sister's sis-in-law someday and i would gain an elder sister.

i knew she was in much pain, not just physically. her life just started, aspiring to be a teacher. and how scared she must be, not knowing whether she could last another day longer. though she appeared strong on the surface.

how is death so cruel? robbing her of life, robbing her parents a great daughter, robbing her 2 brothers a caring sister, robbing her boyfriend a lover, robbing her friends a motivating torch, robbing the kids she would teach lessons of life.

rest in peace, joreen. hope you have a safe journey to heaven and join God. but dont forget us, the people you have an impact on and all those who have loved and cared for you to the maximum til you breathed your last. because we wont forget and will continue to miss you til the day we meet you.

in the end, you did become a teacher to all of us. you inspired us and taught us how to live. you wanted us to remember your smiles.

and i did. see you soon =)

2008-04-26T16:19:00.003+08:00

been trying to study at home. but with so many distractions: my super comfy bed, tons of anime just a click away, my cute fatty cat. i cant concentrate at all. only at page 6 out of page 300++. seriously wasted.

changed my blogskin from the previous emo type to this new one. liked the picture of the light in the distance and the foreground is dark. used to think photography is an easy piece of cake. a snap is all it takes. but now im beginning to realise a good photo captures and freezes the emotion in time. wish i had the time and resources to take up photography courses and take great pictures which i can proudly call my own.

this blog also serves as a reminder of how lost i am and how im trying to seek and find my faith back in christ. He would be ashamed of the backslider i am now. yup He is loving and forgiving but how sure am i to know that He wont be disappointed?

so damn bored la.

2008-04-26T13:32:00.005+08:00

had an Incred!ble Ind!a journey with jane and joyce 2 days ago. ventured to little india in the night (or was it day? hahaha. sorry.) to satisfy little miss jane's craving for some north indian food.

i admit im adventurous but the thought of indian food didnt really appeal to me. the only indian food i touch is the prata. imagine the shock when jane said the restaurant dont serve prata. because they are north indian.

what the toot. i thought indians survive on pratas and curry? they still have to divide into north and south, prata and no prata.

the journey started on a wrong foot. or wrong busstop in this case. walked like 800 metres and felt very lost in a foreign place. couldent see any chinese in sight and for a moment, its intidimating.

food was not scary as i thought. though they could do more with the ambience of the place. the main staple food was nann (which was like prata!!) and with different flavors. i got my cheese nann but at a hefty $3.50 per piece, i felt "tok-ed".

the clever thing is they did not put their prices up. and we point to this and that and this and that. added up to close to $40 for an indian meal.

catched up abit with jane and joyce before i had to go back to hall to celebrate another friend's birthday. sorry jane! cant get my friend to fetch you back to nus. joyce, glad you are doing better now with ur job! i wanna do ur job oso la!

cant wait for exams to end and start on our Jap-licious Japan Journey with Jane, Joyce and Joann to eat at Waraku =)

the orange-looking sauces are not bad. didnt touch much of the green-looking stuff.

shit-lookalike spinach thing.

jane, you just need a red dot to be the ambassador for indian food. you even got ur nails ready!

2008-04-24T16:11:00.009+08:00

the birthday boy: " im 23!"

and his two pretty "护草使者"

an attempt to capture the 中马镖 expression. more like 中风.

she says i got 八字眉!!

birthday boy's favourite ben&jerry. this is called merlionster. scooping of 7!

this is a story about a guy and a girl.

they are so amazed at the boy's deep lines of dimple and the girl's big balls of eyes.

their friend came. to make it more fun, they decided on "The Most Maid Look-Alike Competition!

the girl won. but she is not happy being downgraded to be the maid. she was supposed to be the woman behind the successful man! not the woman doing the household chores.

the boy wont take it lying down after being punched by the newly crown maid.

"Bankai!"

realizing her hard tactics wont work, she tried the soft approach.

she tried to escape by doing the Jumper when the boy retaliated.

and switch to vent her anger on another girl but not expecting her to enjoy so much.

they got together and lived happily ever after.

The End.

Introducing the casts:

Lim Siew Ee 饰 The Maid-Lookalike

Ling Yuet Shan 饰 The Girl Who Got Tickled

Alex Chee 饰 The Birthday Boy

2008-04-22T17:59:00.004+08:00

LING YUET SHAN i uhm-uhm-ing with yr bf =)

neh neh ni boo boo bong ah bong ah long!

faster break up w him lah!

love, SER

2008-04-22T12:17:00.004+08:00

finally a breather in the midst of exam. been hiding in my hostel room this past week mugging real hard. so far im done with 3 out of 4 papers woot!

BH225 HR Research
AA102 Mangerial Accounting
HP804 Coping With Culture Transition
BH227 Recruitment &Selection

im experiencing the same euphoria a student will feel when the exams are over. how not to when my last paper is 10 days away? as usual, exam schedule of HR students is screwed. last sememster i had the "luxury" of 9 days inbetween my 3rd and last paper. its still good because i can leave this module til the end, to free up time for 他妈的modules like Accounting. been putting in consistent efforts (i.e doing tutorial religiously, going for class regularly, doing past year questions) but when i read the question paper.

for a moment, i was the lead actor of "Lost". totally lost for one of the questions with the most mark weightage. but im quite happy with what i've done for question 1 and 3. should be able to get decent grade this time. after that paper, i had to rush for my elective paper which was in the evening and i did not prepare much for it.

for the next few hours before my elective paper, i was furiously typing the summary notes of the lectures. i swear in my life, i have never typed so many words in such a short time. have you ever typed non-stop til your fingers feel like dislocating away from your hand? i still had to go library and print them out and read them on the short trip to the exam hall and in the shortest time possible, memorise all the information. that is called cognitive overload.

im confirmed to intern at Singapore Aero Engine Services Pte Ltd. as the name implies, they do maintainance and repairing of aeroplane engines. first impression was a dirty factory where a lot of uncles in their greasy uniforms speaking in hokkien. and apparaently its in a quite ulu part of changi. what im doing there will be on their people development certification which i have no freaking idea what that is, collect some surveys, do poster designing another area which i will do badly considering my artistic drawings are always critized to no ends by friends. another smu student will be interning there too. hopefully will be able to make some new friends, if not life will be damn miserable there.

think im quite sway. where has all my bday luck gone to? first interview with NT didnt pass, second interview with nike damn screwed up, and im allocated to my fifth chice because first choice, ntuc club, did not reply. maybe go bangkok can 拜拜四面佛一下. haha.

2008-04-12T00:35:00.006+08:00

HELLO WORLD!

for the 23rd year since 12th april 1985.

no no, he is not going to complain how he's getting older year by year and still not getting hitched despite his mum and friends' constant nagging, how his wrinkles seem to be more obvious at least from his friends' point of view (he prefer to call them laugh lines!), how scary that he's approaching the big fat 25, how uncertain the future seems to him at the moment.

no no, he's not going to complain =)

its a joyous day for a special person has been born 23 years ago to bring fun, laughter and good times to (almost) everyone in his life. give him some credit! at least he has tried and is still trying.

*thunderous claps and applause! + wolf whistles! + loud cheers!+ standing ovations!*

with every birthday that came, it seemed that he has come to appreciate more of the things he took for granted in the past. every candle added to his cake means another year's worth of memories,experiences and the people that has come and go that he wont forget, even though he is the very forgetful type.

did he say he was forgetful?

not exactly the right time to celebrate when his first exam paper is next thurs. the birthday boy will be using BH225 and Accounting II textbooks as his shields and his super big brain and newly bought pilot pen as his sword against the evil school adminstrators who set exams papers meant for ah tiongs and ah nehs scholars, who is nothing like singaporean students ever see before.

this is the 16th time he will be saying to himself: happy birthday, dude.

writer's note: he assumed he did not say happy birthday dude to himself before he was primary one (aged 7), hence the 16th time.

2008-04-09T22:26:00.003+08:00

Introducing...

the grumpy 七仔: " bulibdoo babili doopaloo peloki blah blah blah"

which means he thinks the owner is cute in his native language.

beany the bear: "yeah i totally agree with 七仔!"

robbie the ninja-robber: "thats because i helped him steal the hearts of many people.dont thank me though. his cute personality did most of the work for me."

bun bun: "can i take off my tie alr?! being in the same room as him leaves me feeling hot~"

beany the bear: "omg. i cant take it already. he is taking off the clothes and showing that fit and lean bod of his. i need to kiss. NOW."

passerby A: "......"

All: "WE LOVE ALEX!!!"

The End.

2008-04-09T01:49:00.007+08:00

so its confirmed.

flying off to bangkok the paradise of shopping/eating/massage/ah gua with siew ee, yue shan and pk from the 4th to 8th of may. i think i need to give myself a break before attachment starts.

all the best to everyone for another round of textbook crunchings. last 3 exams to go before we grad =)

next time you want exams also dont have liao.

2008-04-08T03:17:00.003+08:00

quote of the week

i hate myself when you are happy

i hate myself even more wanting you to be unhappy

~ Lim Siew Ee, the aspiring "consultant"

Applicable to all who got their hearts broken before.

2008-04-08T03:14:00.005+08:00

Disclaimer: I wasnt scolding anyone in my last post. The outburst of tirade was meant for me and only me.

2008-04-08T00:10:00.005+08:00

came back from running.

been feeling emo about certain things. hoping the short run could clear my mind and blast the emo-ness into the deep abyss of oblivion.

all i could hear and feel was the thumping of my heart against my chest, desperate for the oxygen that is vital for its survival. and being reminded of the few precious nights of running together. nothing sort of the liberation i seek.

like how desperate i am to get out of this emo state.

why do you care when others already moved on. why are you being unfair to the one who matters. why are you envious of others' happiness. why do you regret when its you who made the decision to give up back then. why do you think only about your welfare. why are you being harsh on everyone.

you are really one little selfish jerk that deserves nothing better then shit thrown at your little ugly face.

there's no one to blame when i keep history and memories playing on repeat mode.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

2008-04-02T20:03:00.003+08:00

mentally prepared myself for a 1-on-1 interview with Nike. did not expect a group interview with 18 people from the other universities.

guess how surprised i looked when i saw everyone clad in their formal wear sitting as if they were sitting in a board of director meeting.

it was dead silence when i entered. secretly i was wondering if the boss was somewhere inside, pretending to be an applicant. sounds exciting? and our job is to find out the hidden mole and the winner would be rewarded with the internship in Nike.

everyone had their names in front of them on a placard. and i was looking for mine. turned out that i had to write it myself.

and i sat down. not withstanding the awkward silence, i started talking to my left and right. on the left was a NUS life science guy named Keith. on my right was another NUS ah neh engineer named Siva. so i began my usual introduction, thinking why are non-hr people applying for hr internships.

keith was apparently more interesting to talk to so we chatted for a while. then he commented that i broke the ice because before that, nobody was talking to each other and everyone was just staring into space or trying to act busy on their handphones. and once they see me talking to my left and right, i broke the taboo of silence and everybody started making small talk with their neighbours, as if suddenly they noticed the presence of other human beings just centimeters away.

well i guess it was a good start to get the ball rolling. and the boss came in, wearing casual nike (duh~) dri-fit tshirt and jeans. we looked more like the boss than him in fact.

to cut short on the usual formalities, we had to grouped into 3 teams and present on the question: what is Nike to you?

this is where the wayang starts. some start to "showcase" their leadership and initiative, disguised as 'teamwork'. i contributed a little, and was thinking of creative ways to present it. a scene was playing in my mind.we could do a roleplay and show what nike is instead of say what nike is.

it was not met with enthusiasm. im not even sure if the whole group heard my suggestion. and so they went ahead with presenting the traditional (and boring!) way. all other groups had every member speak while mine was dominated by 2 ah nehs and a chinese girl. a vietnamese girl was talking in english (i think) but we had trouble listening to her because she talks in a very soft tone and the guy next to her had to translate into a more audible and understandable language we know as english.

how could the rest of us stand out when we dont even have a chance to speak?

so the rest of us stood there like idiots. what a great idea to stand out. if Nike need idiots, we would have gotten through without a flinch.

after the "team" presentation, it was a scramble for the chance to speak out in a bid to impress the Nike people. i've never seen wayang at its best til today.

words that came out were sprayed with flowery flattery about Nike. if you were there, you would have cringed at the cliche-ness.

and again, the ah nehs dominated. fyi there were about 5 ah nehs. one said he got good communication skills when i could barely make out what he says through his indian slang.

yeah, maybe in india you would do great there.

i know im sounding like a sour grape. i just cannot take it lying down that my chance for an internship would be diminished by this crap group interview. how well can you know a person and base your hiring decisions on it?

i was quite impressed at the stupidity that 1 candidate displayed. asked why he wanted to join Nike, his reply was "i dont like adidas, i feel that they are always copying nike thats why i want to join nike to beat them"

wow. a very good idea to diss your employer's worthy competitor in front of 20 people.

great move on your part. thanks for eliminating yourself from this stupid interview.so now i have to fight with other 17 impressive nike wannabes.

wanna say thanks to ling, darren, shan, leon & yh who tried to cheer me up =)

2008-04-01T01:17:00.007+08:00

LING YUET SHAN!!!

i can see the genuine surprise on your face right now

stop being my secret admirer and i officially welcome

YOU

to my blog.

to honour your presence

this is to let everyone in the world to know how chio you are

° shanny ° says:
this one pp say i chio

so people, chio or not?

all the best for your credit suisse interview!

also not forgetting my partner-in-scandal-crime

LIM SIEW EE!!!

because of me

your "reputation" in hall dont have much left

but you and i know best ;)

to let people see you dont lose to yuet shan

on your chioness

im going to post this up

thanks for everything thus far =)

hall life wont be that exciting and scandalous without

you and you

lets continue to let XLL productions 发扬光大!

2008-03-31T19:53:00.005+08:00

northern trust has officially rejected me

3 weeks after they PROMISED to get back to me

at the end of that week

all is not lost.

was allocated to intern at Nike

which was my first choice during phrase 2 selection

and they called me just now

in the middle of presentation

to go for an interview on this coming wednesday at 4pm

im getting a little tired of going for interview

the dressing up in formal

and to pre-empt their questions

to give politically correct answers

with an unfading smile

without knowing for sure what is their final decision

heard their organizational culture is great

fun-loving

not to mention nike shoes selling at rock-bottom prices

which is what i heard from my friend

but it should be those defected goods

probably missing a sole or two

trevor suggested i go in nike attire

the thing is

i dont owe a single thing from nike!

come to think of it

i prefer adidas more

cos i cant understand the logic of having a tick as your symbol

he actually ask me to shave to nike eyebrow

that looks like this

duh!

hope all goes well this wed

and next sem, i'll be clothed in nike

come, im waiting for your endorsement!

2008-03-31T18:00:00.003+08:00

with the conclusion of today's presentation,

im officially relieved of projects meetings and reports

for this sem.

well, its not exactly the feeling of liberation when you exit the exam hall

with your paper lying awaiting scrutinization

from your beloved tutors.

yet, its like knowing you completed half the journey, maybe 3/4.

the last round of chionging for the exams starts

i always get this conflicting feelings

half of me wants to get the project done asap

the other half actually relishes the feeling of roughing it out

with people you call friends

i shall dedicate this post to my special group of friends =)

thank you for the courageous fight

through the trying times

burning midnight oil to read on some obscure researches

sacrificing your personal time to go pak toh

having a totally awesome time in each other's company

and creating a lot of laughter and memories

so cheers! to :

ling, sijie, sharon, desmond (Accounting II)

ling, hwee peng, cassandra, tricia, cai qing, kenji (Bh227)

ling, si jie, sharon, hwee peng, cassandra, waifun (BH225)

FYI: our theme was traffic light

will upload pics when ling passes me all the photos

some are totally hilarious ;)

2008-03-17T21:52:00.006+08:00

love the sound of the racket hitting the tennis ball

when the ball bounces against hard against the racket face

"pop"... "pop"... "pop"

therapeutic in a sense

love the satisfaction that comes with every good ball returned

and every rally well-played

feels as if im in control

and i can handle every ball that comes straight for me

love the acknowledgement that the opponents gave

in the form of a thumbs up sign

or a tap on the racket face

love the agony that accompanys every lousy return i hit

and the subsequent motivation to myself

"i can get this back."

the adrenaline and energy that rush to my head

and arms and legs

i wish federer was my father

henin was my mother

sharapova was my sister

nadal was my brother

and i would be the most powerful tennis player ever born =)

all the reasons why tennis is my first love

2008-03-16T16:22:00.002+08:00

finaally, yesterday was a sunny day.

i wonder what's up with the weather now.

isnt't it supposed to be summer?

why does it keep raining all week long?!

anyway, since it was all bright and sunny,

i went for a swim.

the only interesting thing that happened is

i kena knocked on my head.

i looked up and see this unfamiliar but quite pretty girl

looking down at me.

i thought she was my friend from who knows where.

and it turned out to be she doesnt know me

and knocked/tapped my head by mistake.

kept apologising

and i could see that she was pretty pai sei-ed.

after that it was chiong tutorials and projects.

and i realised the weekend has come and gone.

ARGH.

2008-03-13T21:47:00.003+08:00

today was another wet and gloomy-looking day. but i laughed my heartiest for the past few weeks =)

BH227 class was just a disaster for me. i didnt listen to my lecturer and keep talking lame shit to my partner-in-crime, ling.

first, it was huiping.

ling commented huiping's earrings (those big big loops type) was getting bigger and bigger each week and asked if thats her biggest pair. dont know where she got the idea of suggesting huiping to wear hoola hoops as earrings. HAHA! HOOLA HOOPS.

if she can wear hoola hoops, then she has no problems with steering wheels too.

then next was cassandra. she bought this new red tshirt from canteen A where they are having bazaar sale. at first sight, on it was printed the word LOVE in black. on closer inspection, i realised that the word was imprinted on with black furlike materials which i have absolutely no idea where it came from.

i told ling that the black furlike thing look like chest hair. because it was mao mao and black and a bit silky.

guess what. she added on by saying maybe cassandra SHAVED the hair into the word LOVE. and she bleed and dyed the whole shirt red while doing the very tediuous work.

cassandra came to talk to me about some project stuff. i couldent bear to look at the chesthair tshirt and tried to suppress my laughter. gosh it was tiring. i know we are evil..

but it was damn lame and super funnny! cassandra will kill us if she sees this haha. somemore its her new 10dollar tshirt.

ling and i decided to roleplay as DJs and come up with a top 20 lame jokes chart, machiam like those y.e.s 933 top 20 chart.

“大家好！我是辉，她是玲！欢迎收听我们非常有‘辉玲’(feeling）的节目！今天我们要介绍冷笑话龙虎榜。代表作品有：(cue star awards music)

4。Tricia 的 NBS (Nanyang Business School) joke. she said the reason why i bought a blue NBS shirt instead of the red is because NBS stands for NO BLUE SHIRT (NBS). 够冷吗？！

3. Huiping's Hoola Hoop earrings.

2. Cassandra's chesthair-like tshirt.

1. we were interviewing this guy for practise and he was from the badminton team. when asked about what problems he encountered during the training, he said the guys got a lot of patterns on how to skip training. 那不就真的是pattern 多过badminton?! "

credos to pk for showing true courage to donate her blood sample for potential bone marrow matches with my sis's bf's sis. even though she herself is very scared of needles and the sight of blood makes her want to puke.

feel so bad asking you to go and donate. but nonetheless you went through the whole process and i salute you, pk!

and i heart my friends.

you guys have been a wonderful source of happiness and craziness =) school is not such a dread anymore.

2008-03-11T01:12:00.004+08:00

to illustrate the point that amount of input in production will not

result in the same amount of output in a tutorial class

"eating 2 kg of food doesnt mean you will shit out 2 kg of shit"

(name shall be withheld to protect the not-so-innocent)

very funny and apt analogy

2008-03-08T00:28:00.008+08:00

was uploading some pictures to my nearly dyfunctional friendster.

and i went to click on your profile.

to see how you are doing.

and i remembered the one in your featured friends.

out of curiosity sake, i clicked on the one's profile.

and saw some happy photos of the two of you with your friends.

at birthday celebrations.

and christmas gatherings.

honestly,

i feel very happy for you.

cause you managed to find the source of your happiness.

i guess i just have to admit i missed you.

i dont think there is any chances of you coming here.

though traces of you will still linger in the memories of this blog.

i dont intend you to see it anyway.

the reason for writing is just for the simple reason of writing what i feel.

well, we are still friends, no matter what.

and that's what matters.

probably.

2008-03-06T21:23:00.004+08:00

suddenly i have the mood to blog again.

this had to be my longest break.

well for a start, i am busy with projects and school committments even though this sememster is my slackest ever.

i only have 14 AUs of modules, and that is after adding 1 elective.

*hiak hiak*

i still haven recovered from my flu and cough which have bugged me since start of last week.

and my ippt is coming up but i haven start training for it.

shit!

by hook or by crook i must get at least silver.

oh!!! i have this very imprtant good news to share!!

i got my driving license already!!!!

now a certified manual driver :):):)

had a total demerit points of 16.

it was quite a relief after spending god knows how much on all the driving lessons.

i just need a car to let me practise on.

still no news from Northern Trust HR about my internship.

they PROMISED to get back to me this week.

and tomorrow is friday already.

some random thing: i dreamt that peggy was my best friend!

and i even imitated her famous indonesian maid pose in the dream.

need to start blogging more to get my creative writing skills up.

be green!

2007-07-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

oh man, i feel so bloated. like a python after eating a cow. immobile, waiting for salvation.

this is what happened after you stuffed your stomach with Tian Tian Huo Guo plus 2 servings of chocolate cakes. the good thing about today's steamboat event is that the place is air-conditioned, the reason why im not sweating like a mad cow. the bad thing is that its quite expensive, came up to about $20/person.

wanted to make my first volunteerism experience on this sat at the "Live Earth: The Concerts For A Climate In Crisis". went for the briefing with siew ee, after much reluctance from her initially. in the end, it never materialised. attempt to accumulate good karma failed.

never mind, we can still do our little part for the environment. just put in action some of the eco-things you can do!

1. Drive less (carpool if you have to), take more public transport.
2. Dont overuse plastic bags. Well, reject the NTUC auntie when she offers you a plastic bag for your Coke. You can "Say No to Drugs/Cigarettes", you can "Say No to Plastic Bags" too.
3. Switch off the main switches when your electrical appliances are not in use. Yes, it can be quite troublesome at times but it's worth the trouble. you wont lose an arm right?
4. Plant a Tree. Hmmm kinda hard considering most of us stay in HDB flats. that's just a suggestion.
5. Watch the movie "An Inconvenient Truth". If you are still not convinced, watch "The Day After Tomorrow".

see, its that simple.

thanks to You for remembering this special day, and your cheesecake from cheesecake cafe and this wonderful card.

*touched to the brim of tears* =)

dinner at ashton

2007-06-28T13:25:00.000+08:00

the sun is good now. meeting kj for swimming at 3 later. and i SHOULD go to the library. been procrastinating for days, now that they have extended the number of books to borrow from 4 to 8. jane commented they should extend the loan period with the number of books, thats more meaningful. come to think of it, i cant even finish 4 books in 3 weeks, so whats the use of 8 books in 3 weeks.

but i dont care. hahahah. more variety is good. i can borrow novels, comics, human resource, religious books to read. that will keep me occupied for days now that im jobless.

had dinner with the 3J at ashton along katong road. sorry, had to make jo wait a long time because i thought we could take the shuttle bus to marine parade and we watied for 30 mins before i went to check the board. the shuttle bus only operates on weekends. -_-'''

dinner was not bad with the affordable prices and cosy ambience. but i didnt like the salad dressing which jo commented that looked like "siao". oh great, now i have to eat the "siao salad". the sauce actually tasted a bit wierd, slightly sourish. they can also testify to that. also bring the hairy chest colleague to dinner with us someday. im sure jane and joyce would like to scrutinise the hair follicles on that ex-model-turned-into-an-interesting-topic-over-dinner.

i love the fries which was not your usual fries at mac. well they look like the mac fries except they use another kind of seasoning like those found in potato chips. my describtion doesnt do any justice to the food so the best thing is to try for yourself.

thanks to kenny too for picking us up from katong. before that he had to chaffeur another friend. never mind i treat you fries at ashton ok? haha =)

what i've been up to

2007-06-26T19:13:00.001+08:00

been to 2 senior camps, namely the nbs and the hall camps. now im a senior. it doesnt seem so long ago that i was just a guy out of army, waiting to be a freshie and waiting to embark on a new phase of life.

the unfortunate thing was i haven't been confirmed a place in my hall yet, despite the fact that several of my hall friends already got their confirmation emails. i have been told by some of my friends why bother putting in your effort for something that you may not get any returns on. yes, sometimes i questioned myself that. but come to think of it, its not always about the rewards you are getting isn't it? its part of being responsible for what you promised to others and also the time spent with your friends making something successful. that can be counted as intangible returns i guess.

spent my time at home, switching between heroes and prison break and youtubing because im jobless now. its a very relaxed lifestyle which many of my working friends would be envious of.

im sure all of you would know this equation pretty well.

jobless = no money

when i've finally decided to get lunch for myself at the downstairs kopitiam (knowing my laziness, thats kinda rare), the atm had to deny my request for some cold hard cash because it exceeded what my miserable bank account had to offer. meaning, officially i had less than 20 bucks in that pathetic account of mine. next pay is coming only after 7th july. so friends, if you have any job lobangs to help this guy out, feel free to call 97546858 =)

got into human resource management. not my first choice though. tourism and hospitality management is " heavily oversubscribed" while banking and finance is " oversubscribed". cant blame them, can only blame on my first sem results not being worthy enough. anyway,my second sem results did improve from gpa 3.0 to gpa 3.6. never got a C or D this sem so yeah =) still a little disappointed because i never got what i wanted to specialise in and my target gpa of 4.0. there's always next sem so dont give up yet, alex.

for now, more heroes please!

why should i pretend (part i)

2007-06-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

a long break from blogging. unintentionally but im feeling so much inside that i feel i have to let it out. sometimes, i wish ah meow can talk in human language, because she's so nonchalent about things in the world except her fish in the basket that she would be a very good listener. no bias, no subjective opinions and 100% free to listen to my grumblings.

now working in an office environment at SIM. though its not that formal because im a temp staff, work is all right with the pay im getting. its the people that can always make or break your day.

let me introduce my "colleagues".

there is the mr know-it-all, the classic office bitch, mr super-slacker, mr noisy-and-loud and the rest are normal enough to avoid my wrath.

first, the classic office bitch. she exists in every office, presumed to be an old virgin who hinges on the sidelines of menopause. can exists as the classic fat woman with a bulldog face. gets nicknames like "big white shark". (that's an insult to the ferocious shark.) likes to stab people in the back by making small reports and complaints to her colleagues. how to get her worked up? by completing your work early so that you can chitchat with your friends. show her you are having so much fun even while working. that really pisses her off as she cant stand having happy people in her miserable world.

so today, the office bitch couldn't stand it anymore. came in through the door at 5pm.

"you all very free is it?" with that irritated and pissed off tone.

a moment of silence.

"yup." sky's nonchalent reply.

"free then go and count scripts."

urgh. that look on her face. like some cringed up wrinkled mask. openly declared war with us.

the rest are unhappy. they are the ones who always say her bad things behind her back. yet no one let out a whimp when she came, let alone putting up some kind of protest. only sky was brave enough to give her that defiant look, not even looking her in the eye when he replied but i saw that bu-shuangness in his eyes.

now i know action speaks louder than words. people who talk big are just that.

on to the mr know-it-all. imagines himself to be the God of Knowledge. walks around like he is your personal wikipedia. talks about the experience of being in the army like he is the Chief of Army to the guys who are going in soon. i dont think the Chief knows as much stuff as mr know-it-all does. trying to be a mentor and thinking all the guys would be interested in his army experience/stories even though he's a dropout from SISPEC. talks like his words are words of wisdom.

come on, just shut your mouth can or not? i really cant stand him now. and he's coming nbs to study this aug. great. i thought my work stint would be the last of him.

*pui*

and then, mr noisy-and-loud. talks loudly, laughs loudly, sometimes orders people around. i think its him that made office bitch noticed us. nothing much to say.

lastly, mr super-slacker. well, just slack. playing sudoku when there is work. talks cock with mr noisy-and-loud when there is work. he will do everything except work. unless someone specifically tells him to do work.

not that you cant slack. i slack too. but im serious in my work. when there are things to be done, i do them before i take a breather. why should you get the same rewards as others who work while you sit in 1 corner and talk cock.

why should i pretend to be nice and smiling in their presence? why cant i be my true self, present my true feelings in front of them?

but who am i to judge them? aint me the same?

ashamed of my own pretence

ready for the hols!

2007-04-27T12:12:00.000+08:00

the feeling of liberation, somewhat contraditory n intoxicating.

once out of the exam halls and knowing i wont be anywhere near those places for another 6 months, i feel a bit lost. i've finished this leg of the never-ending race, what's next? starting to understand the importance of exams,not just to gauge how much you've learnt,although it could be further improve, but also to give concrete meaning to a life as a student, just like having jobs give meaning to peoples' lifes.

my new objective for myself is to play as much as i want, sleep as much as i like, eat as much as i love, earn as much money as possible. (the first 3 events are mutually exclusive from the 4th)

can say im quite satisified with my level of hard work put in (may or may not be proportional to graded performance). at least now i know im disciplined enough to consistently put in effort to push myself. last sem's results "motivated" me, make me promise to myself i wont ever see a D again in my grades.

time to enjoy. after all the hard work.

another short post

2007-04-24T02:43:00.000+08:00

they say work hard and it will pay off.

"you can do it!", "put in your best efforts", "try your best" are the common encouragement that people give to you.

and when the returns are neligible, people assume you did not work hard enough. so who tells you what is the minimum level of hard work? who defines it for you or for them? who knows the amount of sacrifice you had to go through? nobody except yourself.

sometimes, i wonder why i work so hard for.

freedom beckons.

2007-04-23T17:48:00.000+08:00

Organisational Behavior
Marketing
Principles of Economics
Statistics

4 more days to end of statistics.

2 more days to end of economics.

2 more modules to beginning of stress-free days.

textbooks? throw. (sell to freshies more "wu hua")

lecture notes? shred.

tutorials? burn.

the smell of freedom? schweet.

TOWS, STP & 4Ps

2007-04-20T01:45:00.001+08:00

~~Organisational Behavior~~
Marketing
Principles of Economics
Statistics

inspire me.

let my creative juices flood the whole examination hall tomorrow for my marketing paper.

trust in Him..

2007-04-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

He will cover you with his feathers

and under his wings you will find refuge,

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart

Psalms 91:4

the beginning of the end

2007-04-17T11:33:00.000+08:00

im getting brain-exhausted and symptoms of mental block. just before the day of my first paper.

every second i took to nua, is another second gone to revise for my papers. but im mentally tired, burnout. been expecting too much of myself this sem.

like what daniel as "wisefully" pointed out, the thing that matters is what you are made of, not what a piece of paper says you are. yeah, ideally, that would be the case. but take a look around. that "pang sai zua" is the passport to get you a cushiony job and well-padded account and of course, a good materialistic life.

its not that i really wanted a high-paying job. i dont mind slightly lower pay if it suits my interest, like i get to go around the world at the same time while doing my job. the thing is, i wanted to prove to myself, i can do better than last sem's unappealing results.

but im so unmotivated now. pushing myself quite hard to the point that nothing really matters already.

that will be the root of my failure.

we really, really deserve a good break.

presents, cake and the pond

2007-04-12T21:55:00.002+08:00

today is the 1st day of my 22nd years of existence on earth. ~~and my first day is coming to an end in another 2 hours time.~~ kinda unlucky to countdown on the 1st day of ur birthday right.

the first few hours of my birthday was a blast. my hall friends came into my room at around 0040. fell asleep while waiting for them to do something ( haha 有一点不要脸). in the midst of being half-awake and half-asleep, i managed to tough it out when they "sang" the birthday song coupled with some shouting and laughing here and there.

took 2 attempts to blow out the candles though. still was in a groggy state. anyway i must describe the cake to do it more justice. this "exotic banana" cake, as it was titled on the box, came from swissbake. and gosh, the swiss (assuming swissbake comes from swiss) really do produce yummy cakes. basically, its chocolate based with bananas embedded in the layers of cake. kinda look like the cell membrane structure i learnt during a level bio.

the foundation was some sort of biscuit crust which goes perfectly with the chocolate and banana. this has got to be one of the best birthday cakes i ever had.

and they presented me with this cool-looking adidas sling bag. the next day, which was today, i realised that they forgot to take out the receipt which was still in the adidas carrier.

so back to today morning. i knew birthday boys' fate would usually end up in the pond which is near our hall. and there were 7 guys waiting to realise that fate for me. they were all waiting at the door, telling me "alex, aiya, dont need to struggle so much. lets get this over and done with."
in my heart, i told myself : "you wish!"

then suddenly, before they knew it, i was out of my door and running for my life like michael scofield from prison break. they gave chase naturally, momentarily stunned by my daring attempt to escape from fate. and i ran barefooted. you think michael scofield has the option to wear shoes when he was trying to break out of the prison?

had some merry goose chase around in hall, and even to canteen A which was some distance away. did not expect myself to run there but i also did not expect them to be so determined to catch me. had some eyes staring at me in the canteen cos no one would be walking barefooted at around 12 plus in the morning. this is not the hobbit era.

hid in the canteen toilet to catch some breath. well, in the end, some of them came into this toilet too. i thought they knew i was in there cos they said: "alex, no way out already ah!" i immediately curled up my legs and held my breath. then i heard them talking about paiseh to look under the hole under the door. apparently they did, but because i hid my legs, they saw no legs there but they saw my shadow. then they didn't say anything and left. haha! they thought they saw something from the other world.

as the story goes, all good things come to an end. was spotted by my 2 friends. they were riding one of my fren's motorbike. can you imagine they even activated motorbike to look for me? and so, i was caught eventually.

they did not have an easy time throwing me into the pond too. i struggled, kicked and swinged my arms and legs in all direction. nearly kicked my friend's face =p grabbed every leg i saw and held on real tight. another friend's shirt also nearly got torn by me. they attempted to loosen my grip by gu ji-ing me and actually i felt more pain then ticklish. they didn't poke lo, they jabbed leh!

in the end, they managed to restrict me and by the count of 3, i was thrown and flung into the pond. it felt quite refreshing after all the running and struggling. but still, it was quite a dirty mess.

had a debrief session later. sat and laughed about what happened and they came up with new ways to torture the birthday boy should something like this happened again. like burning and plucking of armpit hair, whipping and candle wax. pity the next birthday boy.

received a lot of birthday messages today. some long lost friends and some acquaitances. even had birthday wishes from mel who is in hongkong enjoying her holidays and jun ye, my old roomie, who is still in malaysia.

was very pleasantly surprised when these friends, who left footprints and memories in my past 22 years before, remembered my birthday. its just simple things that make you happy, without the presents, cakes and the pond.

thanks to those who remembered!

last but not least : a happy 22nd birthday to me! my wishes are to do well for upcoming exams, eaningful, healthy and happy moments for the next 365 days for my family, friends and me!

生日快乐！

come on!

2007-04-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

taking a much needed small break in the midst of preparations for exams. i get so cranky especially during these turmoil times. 2 more days til my 22nd years of existence on this lonely planet. this is the second worst pre-birthday i have since army days.

but alex, you are doing great. come on, just a little more. you still have a bit of time left to salvage whatever that is left. dont give up. that applies to all who are feeling bogged down by tons of unread readings, undone tutorials and un-highlighted textbooks.

jia you people!

a little freer

2007-04-03T13:37:00.000+08:00

im all done with econs quiz, ob creative thinking assignment, ob presentation/report. all that stands between me and my life-sustaining sleep is stats quiz later.

but i was quite pissed for the report that there's a 3 page limit to it. i know its hard on the tutors as well as they have to vet through all the reports which amounts to the hundreds. i had contributed a lot albeit very last min and sacrificed my sleep for that. in the end, due to the page limit, some of my points had to be scrapped off.

i'll be damn irritated if i get a B+ and below for this report. its not as if we are graded down because we do not have extensive research but graded down because of the damn page limit which results in the illusionary effect that we do not have extensive research.

presentation went ok. forgot 1 part, had to refer back to notes because i was trying to present without looking at them. the class had to wait in silence while i searched for THE WORD. it was even made worse when i couldn't pronounce the word "societal". so instead of saying "people are societal in nature" which is on the slides for everyone to see, i said "people are very sociable". that drew some laughter from my peers and tutor.

overall, i was pretty happy with my performance.

weird. i feel pretty confident about the quiz later even though i did not touch it over the weekend. prolly because i did the summary of the formulaes and i have been good after mid-term break cos i do my stats tutorial. if only i have been this good with all my other modules.

gimme back my weekends

2007-04-01T00:26:00.000+08:00

as of now, the things to do:

ob creatitivity assignment
ob presentation
econs tutorial
preparations for econs & stats quiz

argh. i just finished writing 1 whole chunk of formula for stats quiz. my brain juices (whatever's thats left inside the head) are running dry and believe it or not, i still have to do my creativity assignment. my "creativity" is telling me to burn the assignment and attribute the reason to my cat having shitted on it.

this has got to be the most stressed out weekend in my entire 21+++ life.

God did not create saturdays and sundays for us to slog through it like its a monday :(

where's the "friend" onboard friend-ship?

2007-03-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

i dont feel like mugging now even though i've got 2 quizzes, 1 assignment and 2 presentations on the first 2 days of next week. what's more, the exams are approaching in another 3 weeks' time. yeah this is the time to procrastinate. come on, i got so much time to spare that i got time to update this blog.

just feel like having someone to talk to in this hall. and i realise there is this ever-increasing distance drift between me and my hall clique. part of the reason is that the clique has already expanded to 13 people, maybe 12 now. theoritically im considered as part of the clique but pratically, i dont feel that i belong to this clique ever since this sem started.

another reason is that i live in a more isolated block than the rest of them. they will usually gather at this central room but its nearer to them than to me. not that im complaining the distance but it just puts you off, now even more so since there's less common interaction between me and them.

like last week, i did not see anyone of them from wed onwards til this mon. i was actually quite lost in their topics nowadays. also cannot contribute because i don't know what they are talking about. basically, i've lost touch.

and surprisingly, i don't feel like getting back in touch. i give myself the excuse that i have a lot of datelines to meet. which is true what.

im not having any more fun with them as when the group was smaller. im fading into the background, slowly and surely. i would feel down as to why this would happen. we were having a great time last sem arent we? now, i cant even talk more than 20 sentences while having dinner.

is there something wrong with me? a normal person would try to find his way back into the group. but sometimes, i would feel nonchalent or even happy that i get time on my own to study instead of talking cock.

too much time spent alone will also kill your soul. like now. they should be having fun somewhere in the hall and im the miserable loser who blogs about his loserish life. now i know the meaning of "too many chefs spoil the broth".

anyway i guess they wont miss me too. im just another friend, another hall mate, another face.

i really miss my real friends, friends whom i can really talk with.

alex is not dead yet.

2007-03-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

time for another round of updates! its just busy, busy, busy with meetings, presentations, quizzes and tutorials. i seem to have a long list of things to do and im never close to finish doing all of them. i wonder if 1 day i completed them all, is there ever any meaning left to my life. hmmm good question to ponder about but this is not the time.

exams are around the corner again. omgosh. and im still lagging in my studies. have cut down a lot of playing in the hall, sometimes to the extent of becoming more distant with my friends in general. well, i know have to balance studies and play but i just cant afford to have my gpa under 3. thats not a very high expectation of myself loh

what else? hmm. went to kbox for the third time in less than 1 month. first was with joann, joyce and jane. in the end i skipped my econs tutorial the next day because i coulden't get up. second time was with hall friends. too many to name here. third time, which was just yesterday, was with my ex-workmates (junyang, deren, yuki and ruirong) at metro. last time i saw them was 7 months ago. we are like the nu lang zhi nu, only meeting once in a blue moon. but the feelings did not fade with time. i guess thats what happened with close and good friends, distinguishing them from the hi-bye acquitances. i know i cant spell acquitances for shit's sake. spare me the agony.

besides singing 暧昧，梁山伯与朱莉叶，珊瑚海 and the likes for the umpteenth times, we took a lot of photos while others were singing. we got so high on taking artisic photos ( eg brooding pics, arty-farty pics, random pics, group pics, 自恋 pics) in the end nobody sings. but the effects were nice. post them here soon =) i admit im 自恋. all my friends would agree. but i see nothing wrong with that. just dont overdo it. im not right? the worse is being zi lian and disillusioned at the same time.

and can you believe that now i havent talk to my new roomie yet? as in real, decent conversations. at this stage, to me, even small talk like "hey you eat already?" is considered real, decent conversations. so you can imagine how's its like living with someone you dont talk to. just a few nods here and there. find no common topics and maybe i just dont bother anymore. well, i dont stay very long in the room also. hoping to move in with my neighbour next door because his roomie left too. he also got a new roomie but the new guy has not moved in yet so we are thinking maybe we can strike a deal with the new guy.

i suspect my roomie used my washing detergent without telling me because i never see him washing and hanging his clothes out to dry til i bought the dynamo. thats just 1 reason.another reason was i remembered how the dynamo was positioned after i used it because its more convenient for me to reach it when i need to use again. so the day after he hung his clothes to dry, the dynamo was in a different position. that could only mean 1 thing. he used my dynamo without telling me! now that's = stealing.

im not picky over the stupid dynamo. but at least have the basic courtesy to tell me right? as if im supposed to serve him. and im writing this post right behind him. im so evil.

a beautiful story

2007-02-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

my friend emailed me this story and it is beautiful so i decided to share this with you all:

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to the supermarket to buy
the remaining of gift I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain to myself: 'It
is going to take forever here and I still have so many other place to go...'

Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year. How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it...' Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such
expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest.

He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for.

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: 'Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'

The old lady replied: 'You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'

Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to
give this doll to.

It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus cannot bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister'

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket"

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me."

"I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister"

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you have enough money?'

"Ok" he said "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money"

Then he looked at me and added "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me'

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose.'

"You know, my mummy loves white roses"

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I
started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went
to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people
to see and make last wish before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever.

The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

a new roomie

2007-02-02T01:18:00.000+08:00

i was at the lecture when the hall office lady called me to inform me the thing i dont want to hear. i have been assigned a new roomie and he has already collected the keys and may move in anytime. so i tried to ask for his name, any clues that may lead to the revelation of his nationality. i dont know if the lady was avoiding my question or simply, she has not dug her ear holes for how long. she just said my new roomie is a EEE year 2 student.

first thought that came to me: "cham liao la. must be an ah tiong". plus the fact that the lady was behaving so suspiciously, trying to smoke me. heard many stories about those who dont bath, bang the doors, and sleep naked.

then i came back to my room. there was a note on my table. so he has been in the room already. well, he wrote that his name is tan yee chin (defintely not an ah tiong! i was so relieved) and he will be moving in tomorrow morning ( wondering should i wake up to help him move so that we can start on a positive roomie relationship?) and sorry for any inconvenience caused (yeah, actually he caused me a lot of inconvenience like i have to put back the chair used for watching tv, no more single deluxe beds for me and share my clothesline with him) but since he said sorry already, i shall forgive him. and his handwriting is not bad, so he should be a nice person too?

well, the point is i hope at least i can click with him at some level. and hope he baths and dont have a fetish to sleep naked.

time to eat dou jiang you tiao from geylang! shall update about my new roomie soon =)

why travelling on SIA First Class is not that good as it seems

2007-01-29T17:06:00.000+08:00

my marketing teacher (who looks so much like bus drivers en route to NTU) shared with us his experience of travelling onboard SQ first class cabins.

apparently, there were only 6 people in the cabin with all the food they could eat and all the wines they could down. there was excellent service from the crew members, taking care of their every whims and requests.

then he started digging his shitful nose and while he was thinking of the way to throw the greenish ball discreetly and nonchalently, an air cabin crew came up to him and said :" Sir, here is a tissue paper for your boogie."

wow. how excellent is that?

this is just a nice song

2007-01-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

ever wondered how a song can affect you so much? you will just put it in repeat mode on your computer, on your mp3 player. and you associate the song with a person. maybe because of the emotions the lyrics sparks within you and the melody which tugs at the chords of your heart.
whenever you hear this song, the image of the person will appear in your head.

and then you will keep thinking of the things you have done together, the conversations you had and the reason you keep repeating those thoughts is because these can only live in your memories, in the song, not ever gonna happen in reality again. you just wanna relive those happy moments.

when u realise its going to be ever alive in your memories, your heart sinks. as you listen deeper into the song, tears will brim within your eyes and before you know it, they are feeling their way down on the side of your cheeks. you have tried fighting back, not wanting to show any signs of weakness, signs that indicates the heart is vulnerable. but in fact, you have chosen to be vulnerable the moment you hear the song. you know it will come to this sooner or later.

and you wonder why are you tearing when you dont have any idea whats the reason behind it. you can guess 1001 reasons but there's no way of ever knowing it. you just have to pick your own in order to give it a closure.

as those drops of vulnerability reach the end of their lifespan and evaporate into the cold air, you wipe away the streaks that had left a trace on your face. once again, the heart is cold. you stop repeating the song, maybe even delete it. either you search for a new song or quite the extreme, you stop listening to music all together.

whatever it means, you move on.

a few years later, you may hear the previously lost song playing itself on the radio or on your friend's iPod. you will find it familiar, feel it was ever so close to your heart before but it doesnt ring a bell or bring back any memories. you feel happy and it brings a smile to ur face, thinking to yourself: "this is just a nice song."

first post of 2007

2007-01-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

my roomie, junye, has already moved out. he has gone back to malaysia because NTU dont allow him to change course from aerospace to business. this semester, i will have to sleep alone in a double room, will miss him watching his hongkong dramas on the laptop, will miss him sleeping til very late when i have already gotten back from my morning lectures, will miss complaining to him some of the stupid things and, of course, people that i encountered during the day.

when he was packing his bag, i just felt a tinge of sadness and reluctance to see him leave. afterall, we had shared a room for the past half a year.

thanks for tolerating me and my nonsense, and during the exam period where i nearly gone mad with mugging and started throwing my pillows all over the place to destress. haha.

all the best to you and see you back in august'2007!

will be glad to have you as my roomie again :)

counting down the clock

2006-12-31T22:10:00.000+08:00

my house is kind of full of people now. but my heart is kind of empty cos i dont know them. they are all my sis's friends.

being anti-social by hidding in my room and blogging.

my hopes of a quiet new year eve.

seeing my sis friends make me kinda wish that i was in the company of my own friends. having fun and making a lot of noise though it kinda irrates me now. its just the noise.

anyway here's wishing all my beloved friends a happier and better 2007.

things will just get better.

a new year, a new chapter.

how interesting will it be? stay tuned this time next year =)

post revelation

2006-12-28T16:07:00.000+08:00

not good. should i say it sucks.

my first attempt at exams after 2 years.

3.1 for GPA

a little consolation : i passed business law so to hell with contracts, terms and third parties.

dream of getting an honours gone like the wind.

*poof*

the revelation

2006-12-27T23:36:00.000+08:00

just got hold of news that results will be out tml!

dont have a really good feeling *gulps*

and tomorrow, i have driving.

if im too depressed after checking my results, will i lose my focus and "accidentally" knock down some scholars scoring perfect 5.0 for GPA?

all you need is love, love is all you need

2006-12-26T12:43:00.000+08:00

listening to love actually soundtrack on a rainy afternoon warms the heart. title of this post is actually from the lyrics of a song on this soundtrack "all you need is love".

had a lovely christmas present from my mum. we used to have this christmas stocking when we were younger, knowing Santa would do his job if we've been good. when we grow older, the idea of Santa coming through chimneys (except that in Singapore, we dont have chimneys. He would either have to come through the front door or the window grills) just dont sit in with our logical minds. you have to admit u are being more detached away from your childhood fantasies, into the reality where no Santa exists.

on christmas eve night, my mum asked me if i still believe in Santa. i said that im already 21 so i dont really throw myself into this idea anymore.

at the wee hours of christmas itself, i found the christmas stocking hanging on the knob of my cupboard (because you are in singapore, you wont find your stocking hanging in a fireplace unless you've got a really big house). so i thought mum put it there just to enhance the christmas spirits a little more.

was curious, so i decided to put my hands inside and see if there was any presents from Santa.

Ta-Da!!

i had a Hershey's Chocolate and an ang bao for my 1st christmas present =)

i was really touched. and my mum dont celebrate christmas because she is not a christian. yet she made the effort to let us have the feel of it. afterall, christmas is about the spirit of giving and what is christmas without any presents?

so, i was wrong. Santa does exist, and "he" exists in the shape of my petite and gentle mummy.

she said Rome is a very pretty place after she watched the HK show on channel U. i will work hard to bring you there 1 day.

received a lot of christmas messages from my friends. i consider them as my presents too. some long-lost friends that i have not been talking to still kept me in their thoughts.

especially thanks to mel. i dont know u read my blog too and im really very surprised and touched with what you had to offer to me in your sms. yes, we can do it without a *censored*. you know what i mean =)

enjoy the holidays, eat and drink as much as you want but dont forget about your loved ones and continue to spread the joy and love in 2007.

come home for christmas

2006-12-24T19:41:00.000+08:00

this christmas eve, im staying home. instead of bingeing on a christmas feast, im blogging. a different kind of christmas. a quieter and tranquil cold christmas, far away from the bolsterous crowd in orchard road. it seems closer to my expectations of a christmas celebration. except that my house lacks a fir tree with christmas decorations and a warm fireplace to keep away the chill.

love actually is showing later. this has got to be my favourite movie of all times. heart-warming, touching, humourous, intriguing. makes you think about the different kind of loves existing in different forms, not just existing in a boy-girl relationship which seems to be the mainstream on the media.

appreciating and understanding people for who they are, celebrate their uniqueness and diversity, forgive and forget.

christmas is about love, actually. the love of God for His creation. love of His people to their Creator. and the many, many loves existing in different dimensions.

simple, actually.

the father that was never there

2006-12-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

woke up to a cool sunny day. felt like autumn because you can see the sun but not feel the heat. perfect weather for some outdoor sports.

but poor me had to go distribute flyers. well you can call it discount coupons for a brand of coffee known as "chaqwa". interesting name, like some indonesian coffee. as a matter of fact, its under Coca-Cola. it has very cool packaging as a coffee, with pokka dots as its theme.

i hate it when people already dont look at you in the eye, avoid you like a plague or make an attempt to acknowledge your presence when you are out in the open sweating in under the humid sun. now some idiotic auntie still had to open her big mouth, give some stupid comments: " tsk, why so many papers?"

you dont want to take it, its fine. my christmas wish was to shaft it into your mouth.

hui shan could not make it to work as she had to prepare a xmas dinner with her boyfriend and his siblings for his family. so shweet. hui zhi came to replace her. got to talk more with the other staff working for "chaqwa". though i still haven't got their names yet, it was great knowing them.

my mum's been nagging me about the sum of money i lent to my "friend" since last year. actually i lent it to my dad because he said he needed it to pay so that his house wont be mortaged to the bank. well, its been a year but he has not paid me any cents yet. because he dont want to quarrel with my mum over this sum that he borrowed and also because i dont want to see their relationship deteriorating, i kept this secret for a long long time.

even though i have made attempts to him saying that mum keeps asking me about the money, he still did not make any noticeable effort to return. im not expecting him to repay all at once. i was willing to take $100 per month or something and i had relayed that intention to him. nothing came.

being the gambler which had led to the breakdown of his marriage and my love and respect for him from a son to a father, i suspected that he had gambled away the money. which was not really surprising.

from young, i never had a complete childhood. no loving father to show his constant care towatds me and my sister. all we had was our mum. the only memory that i had of him was him sleeping on the bed til the afternoons. we had to go ask him for money to buy lunch when mum was at work.

so his role was to provide the sperms and then, he could just leave everything as if someone would take care of it for him. i find him so irresponsible to himself, my mum and us. what right does he has to make my mum suffer, deprive me and my sister of a father's love and shoulder the burden of his debts.

i should hate him. i once did. but now, i have no more feelings. he's just another stranger. a familiar stranger.

i envied my friends. they got cute dads. like joyce and jane. their dads would treat them like their precious princesses. they got someone who they can look up to as a role model, and know they can relied on their dads when they need encouragement or guiding lights.

i wonder sometimes if i had a more complete childhood, would i still be the way that i am now? or would i be a better person? probably the latter.

if i could turn back time, i wished my mum and dad had never met. even if they had, my mum would choose the other guy she used to tell us about when she was young. even if that means i would never be born.

you can have many regrets, which are actually reversible if you still has the time to undo the regret. to me, one of the greatest regrets would be that i know i can never have a loving father, never to experience what's a father means to me. but i would never do this to my child, if i have one.

i would be the father that is always there. i promise.

jingle bells and bingle jells

2006-12-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

cold, wet and gloomy. the rain ain't stopping and looks set to go strong for the next few days. do you know why the weather is so wet nowadays? because Rain's (the korean star) Coming next month.

brrr.. already so cold and i dont think you guys want to endure this standard of cold jokes.

christmas is here and it always amazes me the last christmas seems like only a few months ago. here's what i set out to do for year 2006:

try long hairstyle with highlight
punch hole in right ear
learn to play the guitar & piano
learn hip hop dancing
~~learn french~~
study well in biz
~~make a lot of good friends in uni~~
a gf (???)

turning 22. good things come in doubles.

some snippets

2006-12-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

back by popular demand ( jane and joann if you want to consider yourself popular!) , im here to entertain whoever is bored enough to be entertained by me instead of watching popular idol dramas on scv or youtube.

its been definitely more than 3 weeks since exams had ended on a rather low note for me. i could do better. i know i would. well, if i knew earlier, i would be God himself. there's always next semester to make it or break it. if i started out strong, there wouldn't be much moltivation for improvement right? a very pathetic effort to console myself.

anyway, congrats to jane and joann for getting good results in their exams! keep up the good work and i hope to be half as good as you guys. enough about school already.

currently working at tangs orchard selling ralph lauren and giorgio armani fragrances. actually i don't really like armani fragrances but i have to promote to customers. its so hard promoting something you dont really like and im not the kind who can lie through his teeth without battling an eyelid. perhaps im just not the persuasive authority kind of person. and salesmen have to stand all day long. time crawls like a sloth on weekdays with slow customer traffic. and im not supposed to stone there looking like a retard because its not part of the company policy to hire stoning retarded salesmen. every lunch or dinner break i have to eat alone because i dont know any of the temps at other counters. dont really click well with the full-timers due to age difference i guess. nothing to talk about. just nodding my head when they complained about slow or picky customers doesnt serve any help in my bonding with my more mature colleagues.

i met this not-so-rich-looking-auntie-but-i-think-she-is-very-rich and she told me stories about her trips to europe and the armani boutiques she saw in Milan and Paris. she's the most interesting customer i had even though she did not buy anything. its this type of customers who will make your day a happier one.

what else to say? hmmm... that's all for now. at least i updated.

teaser: i kissed a girl for the first time today!

so stay tuned if you wanna hear more about it.

3rd week of school and it felt so fast

2006-08-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

its been 1 month plus since the world cup fever died as Zidance ended his career on a high note with his sexy head landing hard on Matarazzi's chest and Italy became the world champion. it felt so long. during this 1 month, i've been to Bangkok, joined Nanyang Business School's Freshmen Orientaion Camp and Hall 12 FOC, made many many new friends, and now i've been an official student of NBS for 3 weeks.

still getting used to life as a student and lately, started to compare life before and after being a student. this is not supposed to happen so fast. because i have no econs background and i have minimal interest in the financial world, i have to work doubly hard, read doubly more and spend doubly time in order to catch up with others. its not helping when i have a laptop to distract me when i should be mugging instead of msning.

signed up for youth expetition project and camp outreach, an event to bring hearing-impaired people to overseas and basically have a good time with them. they were recruiting for main committee members but we did not know that when we went there. nonetheless we still signed up and went throught the interview. spaces were limited so i guess we wont get in haha.. but we can join as participants. i prefer that to being in the main committee too, less work to contend with.

considered joining my hall sub-committee, hoping to gain some organisational skills and boost up my future resume.

now my weekends are preoccupied with reading up of textbooks and doing tutorials. its a pretty good idea since i have no money to go out. all my textbooks and expenditure i had to take from my bank first since the applications for study loan and bursaries have not come down to me yet. so try not to ask me out unless 1) its for mugging purposes or 2) i dont have to spend more then $5 per outing.

ok, im kidding. ask me out. but i may not oblige.

time to take out the laundry!

and the "Holy Grail" goes to Italy

2006-07-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

4 years (and still counting) of hard work from the last World Cup culminated in a beautiful game of football between 2 of the most evenly balanced teams in Berlin. first i have to give credits to the host country Germany for being so organized that future host countries should copy their template of "How to Host A World Cup Without England Fans Getting Into A Fight". secondly the host team displayed a different style of attractive play towards the game, both of which changed the world's mainly pessimistic view of Germany in view of their heavy history. thirdly, the fans were great, unifying in 1 heartbeat to see their country through. the power of football.

though i still prefer France to win, partly because i've concentrated my moolahs on them, but mainly because i would like Zidane to end his career on a romantic high with his hands lifting up the World Cup. i think that would be a very classic moment for years to come. well, it had to be the most puzzling headbutt moment in years to come. why did he do that in the last few mins of the game, nobody knows for now. instead, he had to end his otherwise brillant career with a blemish, much like the scar on Ribery's face.

oh, alas, how fate play her part.

well, i lost $60++ on this World Cup. but it was still a good experience, experiencing the highs when winning the matches and lows when its so bloody obvious why the lows.

things to look forward to:
end of my work stint at SIAEC!
NBS Orientation CamP!
Bangkok Trip~ more eating, shopping and travelling to do!
start of school term~ this can hardly be a reason to celebrate but indulge me =)

Bye Bye Brazil

2006-07-03T22:30:00.000+08:00

hot contender, Brazil, is out. i know this comes a little too late since the match ended on saturday but i still cant believe world no. 1 is out. i did not catch the match because i was so tired from enduring the long and goalless fight between England and Portugal. and the streaming had to break down when the penalties started. so i had to listen to the tv instead. though i won in the match because i betted on them to draw, it was just enough to compensate my loss in the Brazil/France match.

but i firmly believe i will see Germany and France slog it all out for that "Holy Grail" of the soccer world. it will not be as easy for Germany as for France, even though Portugal "rocks" in jane's words. im still gonna stick with my gut feelings. hopefully Italy will not pull an upset on Germany and i wont be devastated again.

well gotta read up on those books i borrowed from the library.

Play the Samba Way

2006-06-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

yesterday's match was a nail-biting one with the hot favourites Brazil against the very dark but gungho horse, Ghana. the eventual winner turned out to be Brazil with a 3-0 score against Ghana. personally, i really admired the way Ghana played, they gave their all and took their chances which were a big threat to Brazil's defense. they didn't gave it easy to Brazil at all and indeed they had a big chance to be the greatest upset of the tournament if not for Brazil's stroke of luck.

but the samba did delivered its magic, not to the surprise of many watching the match. brilliant display by ronaldo, adriano and 1 more i cant remember the name. though i suspected its kinda offside. i predicted the outcome accurately again this time. bet on total goals 3 and Brazil -1 1/2.
won a little because i did not dare to wage so much due to the England/Ecuador and Portugal/Holland matches.

still im very happy that i got it correct again! im getting better at this but cannot be so hao lian already haha..

another 2 more weeks to the end of my stint at SIAEC Materials Department. though its tiring and stress at times, but i think im gonna miss my new friends and colleagues.

now the stakes are high

2006-06-27T19:06:00.000+08:00

as the world cup progresses to the knockout stages of the last 16, the world cup fever is on the rise. and speaking of fever, i just recovered from a fever myself. 38.7 degrees celsius, a record high. must be due to the endless work and late nights.

and i won in the match of Italy against Australia! bought Italy to draw at half time, Italy to win at full time and total goals of 1. so in the end i won $42, just nice to cancel the loss in the previous matches of England VS Ecuador and Portugal VS Holland. i lost $30 in those 2 matches.

went to try my luck again in the match of Brazil VS Ghana. hopefully i can see some bonus cash coming my way though the winnings would be very small.

and i passed my basic theory test today!! thats another thing to be happy about. for my trial test, i only got 3 questions wrong though my aim was to score full marks because its so easy.

decided to go for NBS orientation from 17th july to 21st july and then its straight off to Bangkok from the 21st to the 23rd. a full-packed week and im really looking forward to that week =)

dont feel much like blogging nowadays as you can see from the lack of enthusiam in my recent entries hahaha.. im just too tired from working and besides i just recovered from my illness. so try to take care people. its really not a good feeling to fall sick.

aries's forecast

2006-06-12T22:49:00.000+08:00

The Bottom Line

Increased activity at work or school offers you welcomed relief from personal woes.

In Detail

There's nothing like distraction to save you from an uncomfortable situation. Remember that you can control where your energy goes, so if you don't want to deal with a certain someone or situation, feel free to bury your head in a book or put in some late hours at work. At most other times, this type of ostrich maneuver wouldn't be wise, but right now, you deserve a bit of an escape from your woes. They'll still be there when you're ready to deal with them.

ever so true.

i want to be a workaholic

2006-06-05T22:54:00.000+08:00

dont think money falls from the sky. if someone offers you $300-$500 weekly, dont think it is a golden opprtunity not to be missed. because good things dont happen to ordinary folks like us. imagine being tricked to go to khatib from kembangan, just to realise this "golden opportunity" is a scam. imagine getting paid so highly through selling charity tickets priced at $5 each.

im so fed up that we were being tricked when we realised what it was. why cant they tell us on the spot that the job was to sell charity tickets? wasted my precious time, the opportunity cost was much higher than what they thought. when i asked them what kind of project they were working on, all they could say was "to create public awareness" and some other bullshit. when i probed them further, they insisted that it would be better to talk when we reached khatib.

so you mean you left your bloody mouth in khatib last night that's why you could not answer my questions?

anyway, i went for 2 job interviews today with jeff. the first one at recruit express raffles place, a telesurveyor job for 6 weeks at $6/hour. but its not confirmed whether they want to hire us. should be getting a call sometime this week. the second interview was at a newly established lounge at crown prince hotel in orchard road. the main duties were to serve drinks, do cashiering and maybe some basic bartending! imagine the tips i would get haha... another job opening is to sell booze at places where they are broadcasting world cup live matches, mainly on weekends.

my ideal working plan : work 9am to 5pm for the telesurveyors and 6pm to 3am for the lounge on weekdays. during weekends sell beer to world cup crazy alpha males. =D

the eve before freedom

2006-05-30T00:37:00.000+08:00

this is it. finally its my turn to get my freedom back.

goodbye army.

hello real world!

freedom is near, very near

2006-05-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

i have quit from my sushi serving job at genki TM, a few days ago. back to the jobless, slack days and once again, my bank account sinks on the edges of bankruptcy so ever dangerously again. but 3 things to be happy about: no more washing of half-eaten food that is soaked in japan curry and the likes, no more slippery floors that always threaten to do me in and no more sissy managers to boss me around.

i hope to do something different from F&B for my next job, maybe sales or admin.

will be getting my hands on that pink identity card on 30/05/06 finally. less than 5 days away. people have no idea what we went through just to survive these 2 years. friendships forged, taken a beating and enforced along this road we all stepped foot on. and people say, army changes you. looking back now, i've changed for the good and the bad. i'm not the impressionable and naive wide-eyed teeny booper i thought i was 2 years ago.

reading joyce's entries, im kinda envious of her 208 group. i also have a group of secondary friends which consist of the 5 of us. but sadly, i feel that im just a member and not a participant. been feeling this way since a long time back. im like the one that seems to float in the background, not because they purposely leave me out or i have attitude problems. sometimes, i just cant connect to their frequencies. and when i talk, it feels more like searching for topics to talk about rather than topics just come fluently out of my mouth. a very conscious effort.

if you ask me to go out with anyone of them individually, i would probably be in a very awkward position. which i think should not be the case if you see yourself as a part of this group, you should be feeling comfortable with everyone, group or not. things dont change if you dont do something about it. i think they also noticed this gap in the circle between us and i've felt that they are more open towards me now.

friends are God's gifts to us so dont take God's gifts for granted.

beach boy is back

2006-05-08T18:10:00.000+08:00

been some days since i've came back from a beach vacation at pulau perhentian. just 1 week ago, we were preparing to start our trip and come to think of it, i missed the days frolicking in the clear clear waters, clean clean sand under the hot hot sun.

the trip to trengganu was about 10 hours and it was damn cold on the coach because i thought it wont be very cold so i insisted on not bringing a jacket. had to endure waking up intermittenly by the cold and kept switching my sleeping position to get the most warmth. in the end, just curled til as small as possible, looking like the sloth from ice age in the stage of hibernation.

then we got "chopped" by RM50 when we took a taxi to kuala besut jetty which is 2 hours away from the bus terminal at trengganu. the taxi uncle was audacious enough to claim that we only gave him RM100 instead of Rm120 which was the agreed price and demanded another RM30 to make the trip fare to RM1500. of course, my friend did not give in to his demands and insisted on the initial fare. tooo bad, my friend is quite a persistent person. if i were him, probably i would give him a bit more because im quite scared maybe he will drop us off somewhere in the middle of unknown.

had a great time snorkelling in the waters of pulau perhentian. saw a lot of fishies and coral reefs though not as colourful as what i initially thought. but nonetheless, still awesome to look at! the fishies were more vibrant in colours. saw some big rainbow fishies but never saw nemo leh. and got stung by mini jellyfishes and it was more than an ant's bite! machiam invisible piranas but less painful.

the meals included in the package were reasonably good!! especially the dinner part. the seafood like the sotongs, the grilled prawns and the somewhat steamed fish. the night sky at perhentian is also fabulously filled with a myriad of stars!! many many twinkling stars and i felt very peaceful watching them twinkling in the vast blackness. but the moon a bit spoiler because it was a bit bright.

no amount of words would justify my beautiful memories there. gosh i miss the times there so much. definitely i would want to go back again!

"e-ra-sha ma-shei!!"

2006-04-27T21:18:00.000+08:00

my 4th day working at genki sushi in tampines mall. so far, i got to learn how to greet customers in japanese ( e-ra-sha ma-shei!), how to differentiate between ika and chuka and the likes, how to take orders and billing using PDA and the most interesting, how to wash dishes (duh!).

for this whole week im working from 12pm to 4pm. this period is usually very boring after the lunchtime is over. its so boring that i have to refill the shouyu sauce (soy sauce) every once in a while, wipe the already wiped table, and if all else fails, go and wash the dishes left over from the lunchtime period because seems like the senior staff dont like to get their hands downright dirty and oily.

did we apply for the position called "dishwasher"? oh well, who ask us to apply to work there when just nice the dishwashing auntie had to resign. but today, a glimmer of hope arose for me and gary when i saw a familiar silleoutte of a different auntie at the dishwashing area. COOL!! trust me, you wouldnt want me to be at the dishwashing area when you are dining at genki. who knows, some hidden and stubborn stains may just refuse to be obliterated lo..

going to quit after i get my pink i/c and work at a restaurant in novotel clark quay. pays like $6.50/hour and mainly serve drinks, clear table and! and! and! no dishes to wash!

tomorrow going to JB city square to collect my contact lenses after my work. they only cost around S$105 for half a year supply and with astimagtism. very cheap cheap!! no worries jane! i never forgot the promise to make our contact lenses together so i will still go with you.

21st bday photos.part 1

2006-04-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

the beautiful memories captured.

part 1 of my 21st birthday chalet on 8th april 2006.

warning: some obscene photos included. rated : NC16.

http://download.yousendit.com/117472ED1C0BEE25

all i wanna do is be with you

2006-04-16T22:35:00.000+08:00

how wonderful it is to have someone by your side, to know that someone wants to make you happy, to realise that someone cares for you a lot, to feel that you are loved by that someone.

hope this feeling never goes away =]

"I don't want to say goodbye,
Let the stars shine through.
I don't want to say goodbye,
All I wanna do is be with you."

i am (almost) 21!

2006-04-09T20:15:00.000+08:00

so in another 3 days i will officially be categorised as an adult. sounds intidimating. and fun at the same time. but then again, im just growing older. nothing much has changed. right?

birthday chalet during the past weekend was quite a success. most of my invited friends came and a handful could not come due to various reasons. but what i cannot stand is wong, whom i was quite close to in the army, could not make it cos he had bike lessons. so 1 session of bike lesson is more important than a friend's 21st birthday? i was quite disappointed. im sure he could come after his lessons right.

but nonetheless, this has had to be the best birthday i've ever celebrated. with my family, relatives, close friends, all the people who made a difference in my life were there. what else could i have asked for more.

the bbq was great, had lotsa fun grilling them and they tasted fantastic! jane can testify to that claim =) and while you are barbequing, you chat about life, girls/boys, relationships, work/study, future or just crack lame jokes over hot charcoals. simple joys of life.

the best gifts i received (other then the money in the ang pows) are the personalised gifts from my close friends. my secondary friends gave me a photo album with photos of us dating from secondary schools, our genting trip, til now. photos i thought long lost. photos i could not remember being taken. it was quite hilarious to realise how geeky i looked in the past and as i flipped through the pages, i watched as how the geek gradually transformed into a young adult and how his friends changed with time too.

not forgetting how my jc bunch of close friends personalised on men's briefs by drawing ducks, cats and flowers with their words. it was creative and endearing of them to come up with a personalised men's briefs. B.U.M Equipment somemore. lucky they never buy crocodile brand, quite uncle-ish. and the jacket from ZARA is nice, though a bit too big and they said i look like a taxi uncle wearing that -_-''' hello, you guys walked the entire orchard road to buy me a jacket then you said i look like taxi uncle?! haha =D

defintely enjoyed yesterday's bbq and unwrap the presents session. and i have to thank my mum for being the main organiser. almost everything she did it, with help from me and my sister. if not for her, there wont be a chalet celebration this year. and if not for her 21 years ago, i wouldnt be here in the first place. not forgetting my relatives who helped to cook and bbq the food and providing transportation. lastly, my friends who had came in slightly earlier to help me carrying the stuff and they are gary, trevor, aaron and jane.

all in all, i enjoyed myself totally and hoped those who had came also enjoyed themselves. i love you guys and definitely one of the best groups of friends to have!!

Happy 21st birthday, ALEX!!

I am a Helper!

2006-03-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me

::Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
::Share fun times with me.
::Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
::Let me know that I am important and special to you.
::Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

::Reassure me that I am intersting to you.
::Reassure me often that you love me.
::Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
What I Like About Being a Two

::being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
::knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
::being generous, caring, and warm
::being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
::being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Two

::not being able to say no
::having low self-esteem
::feeling drained from overdoing for others
::not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
::criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
::being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
::working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Twos as Children Often

::are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
::try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
::are outwardly compliant
::are popular or try to be popular with other children
::act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
::are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)

Twos as Parents

::are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
::are often playful with their children
::wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
::can become fiercely protective

Alex's Words: this is so amazing. those tests can really test out your characteristics. accuracy i would give it 90%.

how wonderful life is when you start to clear leave!

2006-03-30T01:07:00.000+08:00

yoooooo!!! today is the (un)official day i start clearing my leaves and offs. by right i have to go back camp 1 day but if there's nothing much on, i think i can pretty much smoke out. so there's a lot of time to meet up with my beloved and much missed friends, plan for an overseas trip and also to look for a job to supplement my account.

my mum has invited a quite a number of relatives for my upcoming birthday chalet at downtown east. feel so stressed i dont know why. big uncle, 2nd-5th uncles, 5-7th aunts have already been invited. plus their families. which adds up to about 20 people at least. im not very close to them also. hope i dont have to entertain them.

mum says it can also be a gathering for them, the more elderly folks. so it will look like a repeat telecast of Chinese New Year reunions. no red packets this time.

around 30 of my friends will be coming to witness the coming of age of alex. haha, does it sound like some african ritual? and some of my sis's friends are coming too. i hope it's to help out with the carrying of stuff etc haha.

i wanted to have a bbq because what is a chalet without a bbq? but mum thought haveing a buffet is better because the more elderly folks wouldn't really like to have their clothes smell of smoke and eat medium rare chicken wings. and because of the amount of people coming, if we just do bbq alone, i think we have to bbq on friday already. so we shall have bbq and buffet. bbq is sort of to have fun bbq-ing so the amount of food wont be that much. its for youngsters like us. the buffet will serve as the main course.

roughly, thats the plan for food-wise. so dont worry you guys have to go home hungry!

and so the interview goes

2006-03-19T12:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was so fucking pissed at this com. it had to break down while i was almost done with my posts, just a click away from being published. TWICE somemore, can you believe that?! if i did not have any self-control at all, i swear i would have plug out the monitor and flung it out of my flat.

i was saying...

its the first time i went into Singapore Shopping Centre in my 2 decades of existence. seeing the name you would expect SINGAPORE SHOPPING CENTRE to be located in a more bustling side of orcard road. instead its tucked into a corner beside park mall. and you would be damn disappointed to find that in SINGAPORE SHOPPING CENTRE, there really ain't anything for you to shop. mostly are shops offering services like hair salons, employment services, travel agencies and offices.

and so this modelling agency was located on the 2nd floor of this "shopping centre". the interior was bathed in a orange-red light which made it looked like a brothel to me. they were playing jason mraz's "geek in the pink" and so i was too happy to argue about that. was told to fill up an application form and to wait.

after a while, i was led into this room by a lady eho roughly explained to me what all these was about. basically they are agents who bring models to clients for selection. showed me several of their clients and models in newspapers, posters. there's one for yunnan hair care though im quite confident they wont need me for that because i dont see my hair receding in the next 20 years.

but before i can embark on this journey of appearing on ads, i need to have a portfolio with me in different outfits like causal and smarts. at a "subsidised" cost of $290, which will include 2 smart and 1 causal. $190 if i chose 1 smart and 1 causal. per assignment pays about $200-600 of which 30% will go to the company. sounds good.

but...

i where got money?! said i will consider and left shortly after. there goes my stardom dream.

lastest update

2006-03-18T01:09:00.000+08:00

response to my 21st birthday chalet on 8th april is so far so good. everyone sounded positive except one. abel chai. who has to go to malaysia during that period. bah, too bad for him to miss out on the most anticipated event of the year. haha of course i was just joking.

funny thing is, im only going to book the chalet tomorrow when i have asked almost everyone i wanted to invite. have checked, still have a lot available. a lot of things have to plan but the problem is what? the basics are the chalet, the amount of food and what else? dun mind can tag on my chatbox at the left side of your window. there, see it? good, thanks a lot.

going for an interview for the model thing tomorrow. like what i say the previous post, just go there and have a look. if i cannot be the model, i can also try for their kopi kia to bring kopi to the director and casts.

really like this cd by jason mraz titled "mr. a-z". if you like rock pop this one is worth buying. cant stop listening to it. brilliant songwriter and great voice with good looks. wow.

update again soon. too tired after doing all the asking of people for the chalet. have a great weekend guys. cheers!

Singapore Next Top Model? ha ha.

2006-02-24T21:43:00.000+08:00

at first i thought she was seeking people for donations. you know, students who go around putting their outstretched arms to hordes of people just zooming past them in a crowded orchard station. so while i was waiting to meet jane in this little corner of the station for dinner in town (she just woke up when i messaged her what time was she going to reach the station because im already there -_-) i saw this lady who was sort of chasing after a guy who seemed to be in a hurry (as most people would when they got people chasing after them).

i did not take much notice of them because i was more concerned about the issue of how was i going to spend time while waiting for the "queen". note the inverted commas. i did not think people would bother this guy in this little corner of this station, especially when you can see he got his earphones on and obviously not in a mood to entertain anyone, donations or not.

so when i saw from the corner of my eye while looking real busy with my handphone, here came this lady i was talking about earlier. instinctively, i stuck out my hand and waved, not in the friendly way of saying hi but rather, a way of showing her that im not interested in any way. i think she knew i thought she was a donation seeker and immediately, she shook her hand to wave off my suspicions.

ok since i had some time (actually a lot) to spare before "her majesty" would grace orchard road with her presence, i decided to patronize her and in my head i was thinking: say no if she tried to sell me any products or any insurance policies even though i seemed bored enough to listen to her.

she said she was looking for people to be in ads and she named a few of their clients like pizza hut and starhub, so would i be interested to leave my contacts with her. i was surprised by this offer, seriously. i never consider myself to be good-looking enough to be on ads. im just plain average joe. and the fact that guy who was being chased by the lady was not exactly what i considered to be good-looking. or maybe that's what they need now, too many brad pitts and angelina jolies but shortage of william hungs. its the year of the (under)dog any way.

i said ok, sure. no harm leaving just my contacts with her while she handed me her namecard with the name of the company somewhere at singapore shopping centre near dhoby gaut.

but i also had my skeptics. they may turn out to be money-grabbing companies by asking aspiring models wannabes or gullible teenagers who have too much money to spare to pay for all those lessons like catwalking, posing, make up classes etc. well, i thought if they really call, i just go there and see what's its like. if they even ask for 10 cents just to use their toilets, i would pay. and shit all over their toilet bowls, urinals and sinks before i put my last message to them on the mirror : go eat shit!. using my shit nonetheless.

honestly speaking, a itsy bitsy teeny weeny spark of stardom sparked in this ulu-fied corner of my mind. of course, i wouldn't be the next top model, i know my physical limits. first im not tall enough and that crosses out every other options. unless they needed the next top model from shire village.

but it wouldn't hurt to earn a little extra income. im looking for a part-time job remember? even if i may have to dance like william hung. but on 1 condition, please photoshop my face away.

down to the last 99 days

2006-02-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

to the last 99 days.

though its still quite some way, im already counting down to 2 digits. YEAH!!

and 99 is a nice number.

nothing much lately. alternating between guard and company orderly duties. sometimes i can book out in the evening, sometimes cannot. depends on the official.

so dont be surprised if i ask you all out for a dinner or something. and dont ask me again why i can book out on a weekday.

hmm.. wondering how i should spend my 21st birthday.

today is my ex-class day. 20/02.

cheers to the last 99 days!

closing of another chapter

2006-02-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

yesterday was my last parade. i should say our ORD parade. the culmination of our lifes as NSF, as we transited from young, wide-eyed teenagers into mature and responsible young adults.
from being the protected to the protector. from being dependent to being independent.

to my surprise, the parade was all over very soon. like 2 years have just gone past like that. memories lingered in my mind when someone was giving a speech. surviving the shit that was thrown at us, the times we just chilled out and bitched about some people inside the privacy of our bunks, the tension we had between ourselves, the fun we had when making jokes out of ourselves or when someone did something really stupid and hilarious. it was all very real and those are the memories i hold dear to.

after the parade, thats when i realised we are not going to see each other in this kind of situation again. most probably we are going to be split up during our reservist. this was our last thing together as a company, as a platoon, as bravo.

this signifies the closing of another chapter of my life story, with its fair share of ups and downs. but i defintely hope its not the closing of our friendship. let us not downgrade to hi-bye friends. 2 years of friendship cant possibly be that weak. just put in a little effort to keep in touch ya :)

despite how i always say i hate ns, how i always complain non-stop, im glad i went through it and got those experience . but once is enough. way more than enough.

all the best to my comrades, brothers-in-arms.

last but defintely not the least, thanks guys, we will cross each other's paths again!

gou nian xing da yun!

2006-01-28T22:29:00.000+08:00

burn first and second day of lunar new year for ops duty. what more to say.

4 more months to being ORD-inary =)

2006-01-28T22:23:00.000+08:00

for those who dont believe i can do yoga

2006-01-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

i've always envied those who got countless friends, meeting up with different people everyday and always seeming so busy with their lives and all. the week is just packed with activities, like everyone wants a piece of him/her, to be part of their meetings/gatherings/parties/celebrations.

to me, it feels good to be wanted. as though people keep you in their thoughts when they organise such stuff. makes you feel popular and the (seemingly) fact that people like you. if not, they wouldn't even bother.

yet, it could be seen as you are just feeding your shallow, egoistic self. an attention seeker. trying to prove your worth for all to see. to cover up the pit called inferiority.

i was (maybe still am) such a person. not that i coveted the title of mr. popular. i just want to have more good friends.

i used to think having a lot of friends means you are popular. but i realise 1 thing. you cant be a good friend at all because you have to divide the same time amongst more people, leading to less communication. how to build up a solid friendship with that?

nature is fair. what you desired, you would have to pay an equivalent price. known as the law of equal trading.

a friend wrote in her blog: "I always feel who matters most is those closest to me, not how many people i know."

such a simple thought. and yet some people find it hard to accept. just content with a few pillars to support their world? is that enough? the more pillars i have, the stronger my world isn't it?

a few good and tough ones are more than enough to compensate for a large number of mediocre qualities.

im glad i still have a number of tough pillars out there for me when i need them. i know for sure my world wont collapse that easily. hopefully, i will be as strong for them as they are for me.

to them i just want to say a simple "thank you".

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

2006-01-13T15:09:00.000+08:00

gosh. finally.

finally, i can see the sun. feel its warmth shine on my skin once again. like everything has a life again.

past few days were cold, dull and dreary. i could be seen wrapped up in my blanket almost all the time inside my bunk. fans were need-less and window panels were sealed. did not feel like doing anything and fortunately, there wasn't really anything for us to do. so this is the closest i could get to know how hibernation felt like.

to hibernate once or twice a week is a pleasure, but to do this everyday for the last 10 days or so is a torture. imagine my mood when i saw the morning was brighter warmer and dryer than usual. hot~

i have decided. don't bother talking to some people in camp. i just want to be true to what i feel. i think it would be hypocrite of me to still talk, laugh and act like im one of them because im really sick and disgusted by their attitudes towards people and stuff.

i rather be by myself all the time than to be in their accompany. their presences alone are repulsive enough.

let them think the world revolves around them. let them think they are the greatest in the world.

the greatest jerks.

first day of my life

2006-01-02T01:16:00.000+08:00

whoo yooo!

had a great countdown at CHIJMES. there was a live band, "true colours", playing great music with the likes of fun retro, hip-hop r&b and rock songs. we all danced like crazy. i never had so much fun dancing, not even when i go zouk or chinablack. people around me were also dancing enuthusiatically, especially the foreigners, so that helped me to be less self-conscious and more fun-conscious.

aaron abel and cody won a $50 voucher when they went to play this game in which they had to sing in front of the crowd. never see them so enthu before. just as the host said she needed a team of 3 to sing for her, they rushed towards the stage immediately. probably too high from the energy that's building up. and so they sang 3 blind mice! dotz right.

saw florence, zhiming, azrin, harlem and benedict while i was out on the streets. dont know who started this game of spotting friends between the four of us. from suntec all the way to chijmes, our eyes were scanning for familiar faces. it made my head hurt after some time because there was just too many people. but all those friends who i encountered were all by chance.

moral of this game? dont go looking for the things you desire for they will come in the most unexpected way. be patient enough.

totally enjoyed myself so much for the countdown. a great start to a hopefully better better 2006.

thon-ned at aaron's house, watching saw 1 the movie. it's not a bad movie, the concept quite refreshing in a sick way. managed to get a few hours of sleep before heading out to meet junyang deren and yuki for dinner in town.

talking with them just makes me feel better. there was just so much lame crap flying around that we almost got drowned in it. haha. had a mini birthday clelebration for junyang because his birthday falls on the 8th. enlisting on the 5th this month. i think that was pretty down for him. but wish him all the best in the army. if i could survive through it, im sure anyone can.

burned out physically and mentally. friends' problems are bogging me down. i dont know why i feel this way. im just so tired to listen to them even though the least a friend could do is to listen to them talk about their problems and concerns.

im sorry if i couldn't be there for some of my friends right now. i also need my space to breathe.

have a better 2006~

goodbye 2005

2005-12-31T01:55:00.000+08:00

it's that time of the year again. one where we will say our goodbyes and welcome a new year. im glad we are reaching the end of another year because im not really attached to 2005 as any other year. not too many good memories but i still had my fun with friends. thank God for them :)

eagerly anticipating the coming of 2006. it will mean the end of my ns and the start of my new life as a student. like a pheonix reborn from the ashes.

finally im down to the last 5 months. yipee.

the things i hope to achieve in 2006::

try long hairstyle with highlight
punch hole in right ear
learn to play the guitar & piano
learn hip hop dancing
learn french
study well in biz
make a lot of good friends in uni
a gf (???)

meeting cody aaron abel tomorrow. ronnie's in korea. counting down @ chijmes. sure it'll be fun with a lot of music and dance! and of course, booze.

that's all folks. hope you guys have a great time counting down with your family, friends or loved ones!

wishing you all the happiest, sweetest, nicest things you can think about haha!

til then, 2006!

2005-12-29T01:20:00.001+08:00

friends for life
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2005-12-29T01:20:00.000+08:00

me & joyce with the xmas prezzies from me again!
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2005-12-29T01:19:00.000+08:00

digi eye cyclops
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2005-12-29T01:18:00.000+08:00

jane & her xmas present from me =)
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true colour?

2005-12-29T00:48:00.000+08:00

What's Your True Color?

Alex, your true color is Green!

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum ? reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

amazing. i like green. my bedsheet and pillow case is apple green. i got a lot of green clothes than any other colour. even my friends tell me that i wear green very often. and i was in charge of the ministry of agriculture (in which i was allocated a plot of land to grow green plants) during primary school.

2005-12-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

nice work done
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2005-12-26T20:12:00.000+08:00

yummy @ outback
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2005-12-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

merry Xmas!!
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2005-12-26T20:09:00.000+08:00

aaron kope this from sentosa
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joy to the world

2005-12-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

merry merry christmas! and a happy boxing day!

so how did you guys spend your christmas? i hope all of you had fun unwrapping presents, partying, spending time with loved ones, friends and family.

so we played mahjong the whole night with joann and her friend,si jia and wong. guess who's the biggest winner? the one who said he only played once in his life and the one who said he already prepared $50 in case he lost. now, who still doesn't believe in beginner's luck?

my christmas eve was spend helping aaron packing his room and rearranging furniture. wah he really got a lot of trash lying hidden around in his room. but i didn't do as much as cody. i suggested that he can be a part-time maid if aaron's maid ever take leave. at night, we met up with ronnie, his gf and abel.

wanted to have dinner at billy bombers for their supposedly famous burgers and when we got there, we found out that there was only christmas sets available. sat there discussing for 15 mins then we left for outback at millenia walk. so embarrassed when we walked out without ordering anything.

after dinner, went back to aaron's house to stay. played mahjong again and i lost (again). sian. i think im addicted to mahjong now. when i go uni next time, you can bet i will be a very avid mahjong player.

today is the 1st year anniversary of the tsunami attack. remember to spare a prayer for the victims and their families in the midst of having fun.

anyway, have a very happy and belssed christmas! remember the spirit of christmas and spread the joy and warmth around you!

Merry XmAS!!! Peace on Earth!!!